Happy 6th Birthday to my Little Man. In some ways it just seems like yesterday when we were shocked to find out we'd be having another baby. I've hear people refer to a child born after a miscarriage as a "rainbow baby" because they're something beautiful at the end of a tragic storm. That's Little Man, he's my rainbow.
After I had lost a baby at 10 weeks, I figured we were done having children. I can't even begin to imagine the pain of losing a child after hearing the heartbeat, feeling the child move, my heart goes out to my dear friends who have suffered such a loss, to me the pain is unimaginable.
When I found out I was pregnant with Little Man, it was a complete shock. I was sick, taking pepto bismal like it was going out of style. I had taken 2 home pregnancy tests and they came back with a negative. I went to the doctors hoping to find out why I was so sick. I was quite surprised to have to give blood for a pregnancy test. I was even more surprised when I snuck upstairs to the 3rd floor conference room to use the phone to call back the doctors office for my test results. So sitting there, in the room filled with potraits of stuffy old bankers, I found out about my rainbow.
I was so nervous the whole pregnancy, I worried if this pain or that pain was somehow not right, if somehow I would loose this baby too.
On April 30 Hubby drove me to the hospital at 5:30 AM so I could have my c-section and meet our new son. Other then a drop in blood pressure on my part and the nurses telling me I needed to take deep breathes, it was pretty uneventful. After having the twins at 4lbs each, Little Man seemed huge at over 8lbs.
So here it is six years later and I'm still amazed at my Little Man and all his wonders. He's such a sweet little love bug. He's kind to his friends and really anyone he meets. With a smile that will melt your heart, you can't help but fall in love with him. I know all too soon Little Man will be all grown up and gone and so I try to treasure the little moments of his life. I try to take a mental picture to last when he's swinging so high, he's almost a little scared, but loves the feeling and a smile just covers his face. The look of pride as he learns something new every day at school. The sweet little way he'll play with his little sister. It would never occur to him to not be her prince and dance with her when she's a princess.
And so today, when we're singing happy birthday, I'll try not to cry on the cake. I'll try to keep those tears in till I lay my head down on my pillow and thank God for my beautiful rainbow.